It’s Okay to be Quiet

As women, especially women of color, we are sometimes viewed as loud and boisterous.  Many people make assumptions about us based on what they have seen on television.  While there are some women, of all races, who behave like that, loud, boisterous and rude behavior is simply not the norm.  Don’t get me wrong, there are times when we must speak up and ensure that our voices are heard.  However, there are just as many times when we just must sit back and be quiet.  You see, during those quiet times, we can observe what is going on around us.  Observations will allow us to make informed decisions. 

I must be transparent here.  I allowed myself to step out of my character a few weeks ago when I felt I had been wronged.  Unfortunately, this incident occurred in front of my daughter.  But the good news is that she is the one who said, “mommy, sometimes we just have to be quiet.”  Now I must admit that I was taken aback when she made that statement.  I mean really.  My 17-year old daughter giving me advice on how to behave?  Well yes!  After a few quiet moments and some reflection, I came to the realization that she has been quietly listening and watching.  She has heard what I say when I speak at engagements and when I conduct my weekly “Live” show. 

So, I took her advice and decided to just be quiet.  Friends, being quiet was very powerful for me.  The woman I was talking to became quiet too.  I think we were both taken aback.  But after that quiet time, I decided I would turn that negative energy into something positive.  The first thing I did was reflect on my reaction and the advice my daughter game me.  The second thing I did was realize that I must be humble enough to receive correction from and unlikely source.  The final thing I did was laugh.  I laughed because I was happy that my daughter had been quiet enough to hear what I have been saying.

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